Brandon Dillon's Blog

A place for discussion on all areas of life.

Posts Tagged ‘How to Win Friends and influence people’

Socrates & the Test of Three

Posted by Brandon Dillon on February 13, 2013

I was recently at a Life seminar and they were talking about Socrates and his test of three. Socrates was considered the greatest mind in his time and was even told that he was the smartest man in all of Greece. The reason for that is because he always asked questions instead of just telling everyone all the things he knew. With that little part alone how many of us could work on that? Do you know some one that is always ready to tell you everything or even if they are not called upon in circle of people they are the first to give a answer even when something is directed to another person?

They can seem very rude right? if you don’t know some one like this, it might be you! =) hopefully not =)

So this man approaches Socrates and says. Socrates I have something to tell you I just heard about one of your students. Socrates pauses for a moment then says to the gentlemen ok you may tell me but first let me ask you three questions about what it is you want to tell me. The man says ok.

First question, is what you want to tell me something good? The man thought for a minuet, no its actually not good. Ok Socrates says that’s fine lets try question two.

Is what you want to tell me the Truth? The man said no I am not sure if its true or not I just heard it. ok that’s fine Socrates says lets see about the last question.

Is what you want to tell me useful? No the man said I guess its not useful.

Socrates says so if I understand this right, you were about to tell me something that is not good, not true and not useful? Why tell me at all?

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.

That story ends in some situations with the phrase. And that’s why Socrates never found out about Plato and his wife’s affair. But if you take that situation yes it may not have been good information but it was sure True, and useful to Socrates. But what this man wanted to tell Socrates was just Gossip, how many of you would be happen with a world with out gossip?

Then use this the next time your going to tell a story a information to a friend or someone at work about so and so. Even if what someone is doing may not be right unless you can correct it or at best warn someone about a potential issue they might fall in to because of that person don’t talk about it.

Dale Carnegie talks about this in his all time great best selling book how to Win friends and influence people. He starts off with 3 principles to always do the three as he calls them. Accept, Approve and appreciate. The reason he starts with everyone needs to accept approve and appreciate others for what ever small item they do is because most everyone is ignoring it and doing what he says next on a daily basis.

The next principle he follows with is a don’t do statement, because most people take this to be their job or personal hobby most times and that’s do not criticize, condemn or complain.

Think about when you heard more accepting, approving and appreciating of someone vs criticizing condemning or complaining? its very rare to find the three As used its almost always the three Cs that are in place in our world today, and it doesn’t get us very far at all.

The next time you hear someone start talking about someone or something ask your self these questions and also go out of your way to find something to accept and approve and appreciate of someone everyday, you will see some amazing things with that, and lets everyone stop criticizing, condemning and complaining. The world will be a much quieter place if we take Socrates principles and Dale Carnegies and use them and share them with others.

I highly recommend you read Dale Carnegies book How to win friends and influence people, its one I read several times a year to remind my self not to fall in to the gossip and rumor trap and to think of how I can accept, approve and appreciate someone that day.

Success is yours if your willing to work for it.



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How to Win Friends and influent people by Dale Carnegie

Posted by Brandon Dillon on March 12, 2012

I have been studying this book for the past few weeks since I last said I would be going over them, just wanted to update everyone that this week look for a new post all about this book, which is an amazing classic that if you truly live by and work at these principles every area of your life will improve. The first three big things talked about and if you read this book and I hope you do, you will see that examples are given a lot about people from the early 1910-1930s.

The First three principles are, Do not criticize, complain or Condemn others. Sounds Simple enough but if this first 3 principles were applied by everyone in the U.S. then it would be an amazing country. So often do we criticize others , our spouse, our children, friends co-workers or people we Lead or manage, never once will criticism work to get anyone to do what you want. There are far better ways to get that to happen.

Complaining, so many do it, and even those who do it often and well don’t like to hear it, so that should be a huge clue that complaining does nothing to resolve the problem or condition that your complaining about. instead seek to find solutions that will be Win win or just put it out of your mind or else you will become very negative and obsessed about it and why let something you cant do anything about effect your day.

Condemning, while it sounds very much like criticizing this is a step up and more hurtful, and unless we be free from sin others could criticize, complain and condemn us and what would we try to do? Justify why we did what we do, or why we needed to do this or that, and we would never look at a potential teachable moment in life where we can grow and learn.

These are just 3 small principles that if you make a sticky note and put these three things on your steering wheel of your car or write it on your mirror in your bathroom or in your day planer and read them often when ever something comes up, it will greatly impact your life and the life of those around you.

More to come!


Posted in Following, Friends, Leadership | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »